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Hanging by my Boob!
While conducting some business at the Courthouse, I
overheard a lady, who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram
Technician, say, "Your Honor, I'm guilty but.....there were
extenuating circumstances."
The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly
like to hear those extenuating circumstances." I did too soooo…… I
listened as the lady told her story.
"Your Honor, I had a mammogram appointment, which I
actually kept. I was met by this perky little clipboard carrier
smiling from ear to ear and she tilted her head to one side and
crooned, "Hi! I'm Belinda! All I need you to do is step into this room
right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything
clear?"
I'm thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science."
Belinda then skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.
With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me
(literally) to the left and said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy
toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?" Fine, I answered.
I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use
the remaining circulation in my legs and neck to finish me off? My
body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other
breast wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when I
heard and felt a zap!
Complete darkness, the power was off!
Belinda said, "Uh-oh, maintenance is working, bet they
hit a snag." Then she headed for the door.
"Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are
you?" I shouted.
Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy...the
door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be
right back."
Before I could shout NOOOO! She disappeared. And that's
exactly how Bubba and Earl, "maintenance men Extraordinaire" found
me...half-naked with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the
other part smashed between glass!
After exchanging a polite Hi, how's it going type
greeting, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I
knew the power was off.
Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much
calmness as possible, "Uh, yes, I did but thanks anyway."
"OK, you take care now" Bubba replied and waved good-bye
as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.
Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin.
Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said,
"Oh I am sooo sorry!
The power came back on and I totally forgot about you!
And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?"
And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up
between the clamps...."
The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said
"Case Dismissed".
When you stop laughing, post it to let the
rest of our"sisters" laugh.
the Click Researcher 
Happy Friday!
The Click Project Coordinator 
Daughter-in-law and niece of breast cancer "thrivers"!
